confession number two

so i have another confession. i would sort of fib to the visitor parking gatekeepers to park in the visitor parking at the wilk. i would pull up and they would say "are you a student?" and proudly i would say "not anymore!"...that was in the summer...ok ok....last summer. but now i really am NOT a student so i can totally park in the visitor parking guilt free.

rock on x-mas

it's christmas now! yay! the fam bam and i are all doing our shopping after christmas. blast byu, don't let us out til the 22nd. we've partially replaced santa with the "drawing names out of a hat" idea. the first year we started that, i had one of my sisters. we each got 200 dollars to get three gifts for our secret person. after we buy them their three, we got to keep the rest of the money. my sister wanted a cell phone and a cd player. so, me being as selfish as i was back then, motivated by the love of money, bought her a toy cell phone (came with a beeper) and a cd player from wal-mart, the cheapest one i could find, and something else, all coming to a grand total of 30 bones. i kept the rest. how grinch/scrooge-like i was back then, a selfish freshman in high school. now that i am a college grad, i spread the love of the byu bookstore to all the fam. thank you 20% off days and free gift wrapping (those people are so talented!)

another

i feel so behind on my blog posts. its been like 2 days. so i decided to write another. im trying to think what about. hold on...let me check msn.com...(read for about 3 minutes)...another katie holmes thing...wow there really must not be a lot going on in the world of celebrity especially when they have to write about katie holmes again. but i must admit it is some pretty good stuff sometimes. and then theres the kate moss and pete loser thing. NO ONE CARES ABOUT THEM. it really must be a slow week. where is britney when you need her? oh wait. its jamie lynn now. oh those spears's. showing each other up again. i think the mom got her to say she's pregnant to get more publicity for her book. they really know how to work it. we should study them in our communciations classes. OH WAIT, i dont have those anymore. bah ha. anyways, i quote from msn.com aka THE source. "Three years ago, when Sean Preston and Jayden James were just a twinkle in Britney Spears' un-court-monitored eye, she wrote in one her Letters of Truth, "Cooking is kind of like motherhood. To be really good at it, you don't need instructions. You kind of just go on instinct and what feels right. And we all know how that turned out. So we're a wee bit concerned now that her little sis, Jamie Lynn, 16, whose bombshell baby revelation to OK! still has us reeling, appears to be adopting a similarly intuitive attitude.
"I think it's something that you just know how to do," she tells OK! of the bun baking in her oven. "As your body changes and all these things happen, I think it becomes natural to know what to do. Even more disconcerting is Jamie Lynn's conviction that she'll learn everything she needs to know from mother Lynne, who we're guessing isn't about to sit her down for a chapter-by-chapter discussion of "What to Expect While You're Expecting" or the pros and cons of the Ferber method.
"I have a great mom and she has raised three kids, so if I take lessons from her, I think I'll be great," the "Zoey 101" starlet tells the magazine of Lynne, who has taken the brunt of the blame (rightly or wrongly -- your call) for the way her showbiz-steered offspring have turned out. "

KEEP READING THERE'S MORE...

TMZ.com reports Britney bought her little sis a $500 gift basket from Los Angeles baby boutique Petit Tresor on Wednesday, filling it with a variety of white-hued items including a blanket, stuffed elephant, onesies, socks and sneakers, along with a note reading, "Dear J.L., We love you! Brit, Sean and Jayden."
More disturbingly, she also ordered a tank top emblazoned with the words, "Hot Mama 2 B," because that's the message you want to send to Jamie Lynn's already traumatized tween fan base."


Now to sum it up, Jamie Lynn and Casey want to get married to some media and are calling it quits to others. But their parents think they shouldn't because they are too young. Of course, they weren't too young to have a baby.

Say it with me. Oi. (as you slap your own forehead and then proceed to shake it in hopelessness)

ATX

home FINALLY. i think i've sung enough to last me the rest of 2008. thank you mama. and thank you partial talent to sightread. oh and i think ive eaten enough to last me through 2009. i think i eat when i am at home mostly because my sister and mom look at me with twisted faces when i sit down to eat. so i think i eat to make them grossed out. :) they are getting me a week long pass to lifetime which is apparently the gym of all gyms. as long as we drive there i'm good, and if they have some snacks. i blog like im a fat girl or something. let your imaginations run wild those of you i have not met. i know you are judging me. judge on suckers. i'm happy and healthy. besides, curves are in. beyonce said so....so did queen latifah.

kaaaaaaylene

you can definitely leave comments on my blog. p.s. this blog post is dedicated to kaylene. :) rock on beautiful people. and if you arent beautiful like the rest of the shallow people i observe in my blog, its ok, you can take pictures of us.

screening

i think i need to give permission to people to comment on my blog. creepos, NOT invited.

Things I love

1. Spotting funny backpack runners on campus
2. Finding more than $5 in my pocket, anything less is...eh...ok
3. Passing a class that I probably didn't deserve to pass based on my work ethic
4. Anything that makes you look skinny
5. Office supplies, any kind, especially colorful ones...or ones that are really hip
6. Watching really awkward flirting people...so I can laugh
7. Blogging...duh
8. Reading meaningless, pathetic celebrity gossip...did you hear about Jamie Lynn!????
9. Seeing people trip and try to cover it up
10. Being the last car on the left turn arrow right before it turns red

confession of a borderline online junkie...

so...i have a confession...on top of all my really shallow confessions on this blog...

i "updated" my personal info so it would appear in yellow towards the top of the "friends" link on facebook...the info i updated was my Web site. I put my blog site in there again so it would look updated so other borderline online junkies would take interest and read my blog of shallow items. thats how i increase my SEO. ha. who needs google analytics? (actually i love google analytics and all things google. did you know they have a google shuttle bus that drives around googlers, with a gym, and an in house chef and some of the most amazing work perks in the world! that's why they are Fortune's number one.)

Pet Peeves.

I stole this idea from a fellow blogger...

Pet Peeves:

1. When people pick their nose and eat their boogers in college. (This is more of a "things that I think are incredibly disgusting)
2. People who raise their hand in class way too much who answer questions that everyone knows
3. When people write their real feelings online or post anything for reals online
4. Disobedient pedestrians. I HATE disobedient pedestrians.
5. having more shampoo than conditioner
6. paying for pencils at the testing center
7. people who don't throw away the ice cream container when there is no ice cream left making you think that there is some so you take out the bowl, spoon, ice cream scoop only to find that there isn't any ice cream
8. misspelled headlines
9. people who use the excuse "he looks a lot better in person" when they show you an unfortunate picture that's a pretty accurate portrayal of their significant other
10. people who walk around the house with their shoes on

home plan

when i go home, im going to get grandmother satchel and the brown pencil skirt from banana. i'm starting a new corporate wardrobe. its going to be fabulous. knock out even. watch out orem here i come. boy, what a move.

brit's kid sis is preggy

NEWS! Jamie Lynn is pregnant (please yell that with a southern accent its so much more fun). She's 16 and employed by Nickelodeon. Nickelodeon sluts, thats what they are. Had she been on the disney channel, she probably would have been touring with the cheetah girls cheetah sistahs.

non sek-quit-tur of the day

my mom called me husky instead of fat one day...thinking that husky was a compliment, never have i wanted to be called fat before until the day i was called husky.

run dry

i have officially run out of shows to watch thanks to the writers strike and the ends of shows on mtv.com. not that i watch that much tv...well...internet tv...but i just do when i get ready for school and ive FINALLY run out! i want to know what happened to carmelita, the tranny who had an affair with patrick darling! i want to know who got meade publications! i don't even remember the rest of the shows latest endings! and i hate trying to learn nbc.com grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. ive started re-watching things. i need something to watch! please please please!

spice gurlz in da houssssse

So the spice girls are back on tour. Must admit, I was a spice girls fan, know all the words to their first CD (back then I thought the 2 become 1 song was so naughty). Oh and read about Ashley Tisdale. Who cares about her she’s ugly and her music sucks (remember…this is an observation, not gossip). But then again at one point I thought Lindsay Lohan’s music sucked and that she was stupid and now my playcount for Lilo songs on my itunes is embarrassingly high.

Oh and did you see Brit’s new video? I say Brit like we are on a nickname basis. She calls me Jos, I call her Brit. Anyways, she looked fabulous! She went from brown haired…er…wigged, manufacture-tag-still-on-glasses-pale-skin to a blonde bombshell with no glasses and tan skin. Scroll down…remember THAT disaster? Iiiiii know. How do they do that?? MAGIC! Even though she forgets to pay her dancers, I sure hope she remembers to pay her magician…er…make up artist.

rhyme time

i had the best idea. i think i am going to start blogging in rhymes or raps......starting tomorrow. p.s. i love straight to dvd movies, or the ones produced by mtv, like the volleyball one starring the latin-pride-j-lo-is-my-idol-cheetah-girls-cheetah-sistas head cheetah girl. i used to always want a volleyball movie, but then understood why they never really make those after i watched the mtv one. funny how the cheetah girls are spokesgirls for the disney channel now. they went from underaged scandalous video vixens with all colored girls to the disney channel music videos with a white girl (sabrina i love you! sorry you got kicked off dancing with the stars so early in the show, even marie "pride of provo" osmond beat her). vh1 should do a behind the music on the girls formerly known as 3LW so we can figure out what happened to the third minorty. i bet she tried to get into destinys child.

my celeb gossip for the day...

after chatting up the paparazzi at the gas station and leaving the manufacturers tag on the glasses (i bet they are fake) i quote ms. brit "stop taking pictures of me, i'm ugly right now."

And the best gossip of the day (didn't write this)...Beckhams to Vegas: Thanks for the Mammaries...(they showed up to some vegas strip club, and someone got a quote...)

Chimes in an excited stripper, "All the girls thought it was Christmas come early. When the group chose me to dance for them I couldn't believe my luck. I put on a really sexy show."

p.s. im going to start using the word hoi polloi (picture john travolta in a fat suit aka hairspray big mama) and brouhaha

the rogue elf

apparently there has been a naughty "rogue" elf in canada who is writing nasty letters to little kids. i guess they have a little santa writing system in their post office, zipcode HOHOHO, and someone decided to make the little kiddies cry. BAAAAAAAAAAAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. canadians. so funny.

my new routine

so, i put a little more thought into this blog. no crazy, that doesnt mean that its deeper. i was thinking about things that i could do when i dont have school anymore. and the first thing i thought of was creating a new routine for myself, one that definitely does NOT include homework. FINALLY. anyways, so i was thinking that my days could go like this....

Wake up
Go to the gym
Go home and get ready for work
Watch all of my favorite shows while I am getting ready for work
Check my blog, bank account to look at my dough, read my emails...all of course while keeping one small window open in the left bottom corner to keep my shows running
Work
Lunch break
Work some more
Finish work
Go to the gym if I missed the gym in the morning which is most likely, especially during the winter...and fall...and spring...and wow i actually dont really go to the gym, which leads me to believe that the reason why they have so many free passes for 24 hour fitness is because they have gym wannabees like me that pay their fees but dont go so it pays for someone else to get fitter and better looking than me. sick.
Read a book on my book list
Check my blog, email, bank account with all my dough...or credit card debt either one
And then do fun, uneducated, shallow things that graduates who stay in P town do.

And that's pretty much it. That will start on New Years day...well maybe a couple of weeks after, so that way its not so packed at the gym because everyones new years resolution of trying to get fit definitely dies down within the first month.

booooooooooooo

so everyone, did you hear that __________'s group one? sick. whatever, they were psychos. (this is an observation, and if you think that its justification for gossip, go read someone elses blog). anyways, part of me was hoping that _________'s group wouldn't win because they were...way too intense about our *666 project. they deserve it for being total pompous [please insert whatever word you would like....profane or not]. anyways, what do they get for winning? well, nothing from the rest of us from the 666 class. they are probably patting themselves and eachother on the backs. i know these are going to be one of those "high school glory days" equivalent stories that they tell at christmas parties to people who probably think to themselves "who invited this guy". very very sad. while we on the other hand, are going to be the ones that people come to the party to see. hollaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.


*not real class...well its probably the devils class...actually its what _____'s class was really called.

coming soon...

1. B.F. and Kenneth Cole
2. People who take pictures of themselves and set their camera far away with a timer so it looks like they didn't take a picture of themself
3. People who take pictures of themselves and don't hide it
4. People who try to put glamour shots of themselves on Facebook as their profile picture (man some of these are good, but I can't screen shot them and put them on my blog, I'll get shot for sure!)

No longer enslaved by Brimhall

So the first thing I did when I got home...of course after running through the halls of the Brimhall yelling "I'm done with 485" trying to rub it in to the blue shirt and black pant group...no names remember, I'm not a gossip...I just make, what my mom calls "observations" so if you think I'm gossiping in this blog, I'm not remember, that's one of my rules. Anyways, I went home and added all my 485 Friends on Facebook! Yay! You'll never forget the people who went to hell and back with you. They were great. We had a class party, ate probably more than I should have, took pictures during presentations...I kind of felt like the paparrazi were there, taking really bad pictures at really bad angles. I can see it now, tagged on facebook, evidence of the disaster that 485 made me. Whatevs man. It's over. Boo-ya. P.S. I'm going to try to bring that phrase back along with no doi.

Rappin up the 485

(Please picture a white boy, who video taped himself, created his own beat on a keyboard and posted this on youtube)

What up Brimhall, you aint never seen
Wakes in the house wit his capstone team

Three eighty two is where we stay
1:30 to 2:30 Tuesday, Thursday (yeah yeah we stayed til 245 whatever)

Jimmy, Liz, Adriana and Ash
With their little whigga Drew, hustlin for the cash

Bex, Whit, Kwok, and Jos
With one male model who…well… put himself on facebook and put it in the campaign for everyone else to see…

Wicka wicka anywaaaaaayz…

Shea, Jamie and the Lisa twins
Only got she’s ain’t got no hims

We’ve hustled and we’ve flowed, got three killa campaigns
We are the loyal subjects to the mighty Wakes reigns

The four eight five is now over, we get down on our knees
Not to pray foo
To take out Rawlins wannabeeees

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

(followed by footage of a rap concert...rappers pace up and down the stage, throwing gang signs and threatening their rivals)

al...most....there....

school is almost out. thank goodness. 485 will be over in less than two days. then its easy, peasy, japanesy from there. i had to blog at least once today. i was having withdrawals. sorry folks, nothing clever here.

catkins

ashlie...naomi...this is for you

gooooooogle

i'm pretty much obsessed with google now. i downloaded the google desktop finally, the google notebook, and a few google gadgets, like the little calendar, microsoft office shortcuts at the top, a clock, a slideshow, a music thing, the scratch pad and the google toolbar. I also have tetris, a music remote control, youtube and other things not shown. cool eh? what else google do i have...igoogle, thank you becky. aaaand thats about it for now. gooooogle.

did i tell you about the time i got bit by a horse? a real one???

when i was 8, i used to play at my friends house, peter and emma. they had three horses, star, candy kisses and i forgot the moms name. anyways, i was jumping on the trampoline one day, you know the ones they bury in the ground so its not super high up...anyways, i lean against the fence just taking a jumping break, and star comes and bites my back! it hurt so bad! aaaand he ate a whole through my favorite shirt, it was a pink shirt with three octopuses in the front and it said "taco salad - hawaii" on it. i had a big bruise! the next day, i heard star kicked a neighbor kid in the face. he's in my glue stick now.

free music downloads!

http://www.mtv.com/music/downloads/ i knew there was a reason i loved mtv.com...free music!

the anonymous security code thingy

what exactly is that code thing for, you know the one that you have to type in before you can do things...its all squiggly and weird and has letters and numbers that you sometimes can't read. what does that do exactly? test if i can read with my eyes crossed?

i love menudo

i've sat here, hibernating in the cave, working on my internship portfolio....watching making menudo, my new favorite reality show...for now, until i get new episodes of desperate housewives, ugly betty, greys anatomy, pushing daisies, the hills (FINALE ON MONDAY i'm so sad, i hope heidi doesn't marry spencer...p.s. i hate the she-pratt), big shots, samantha who and i think thats about it. the best voice on menudo is chris or jose, the best looking is probably carlos or jc. i love the latins! ay ay ay! i'm going to learn spanish. i am on menudo.com!

my failed attempt to trick the byu parking fake police

usually on fridays i drive to the hinckley building for work because i'm too lazy to walk all the way over there. i dont have a parking sticker so i try to just take a chance, live life on the edge, park in permit only parking without a permit. last friday was the first time i got a parking ticket. so today when i got to school i decided that i would try to trick the byu parking people. i put the ticket i got last week on the front of my car so as to look like ive already been ticketed. i thought i was so clever. came out after work and i got a ticket on top of a ticket. it was for $50!!!! Booooooooo. I think they knew that it wasn't a ticket from today cause it didn't have a little plastic slip on it to protect it from the rain. i'll try it with the plastic slip next friday :)

cyber me

since the whole world is moving into cyber space. i decided to create a cyber space version of me. and of course its going to be super hot. and i think i need a new name, like how Mariah Carey dubbed herself Mimi, Janet Jackson Damita Jo, or whatever the heck that weird one was, and Madonna Esther.

My cyber space name will be....Roxanne....no...Glenda...no...Beatrice...no.....Jade. Wait...Jade. Yep that's my new name. Full name Jade Kimora. Cyber me. I can do some pretty hard core kar-a-tay and kung fu hustle with a little ghetto flavor. Now I just need a video clip of myself. I know you thinkin up a Cyber me. Oh, and Jade Kimora is ghetto, ebonics, Gen X ghetto. Don't let the pearls and the professional highlights fool you.

thank you myscene.com. you dont know how many boys ive tricked into playing on a barbie web site.

i have "older posts"

lets celebrate for today i have two whole pages worth of shallow, pointless blogs. fabulous. i need to start reading more of them. i'm going to make that one of my new years resolutions, in addition to "get fit" for the 5th year in a row. however, i think i do name the physical aspect of my goals something different every year. One year it was "you're fat, lose weight" another one was "adapt a healthier lifestyle" i think that was around the time where they declared Trans Fat a national enemy...another was "get fit" another was "get toned" all of which i havent done. i hang on to the clothes that i think i'll fit into again, which end up going to my little sister. sick. one year one of them said, when i came home "josie! my thighs touch!" and there goes my upchuck reflex. my inner and outer thighs touch. not really, how sick would that be. anyways, i dont know if i wrote on here already about how my family thinks i gain so much weight when i am in utah and then when i go home they are ALWAYS surprised. maybe i did write about this, cause i just had deja vu...i think i capitalized always in my other blog. ca-reeepy. ok done.

quickies for the day

not those kind. sicko. anyways, this is what i was thinking about on my way to school...what to blog about that is, cause thats all my thoughts consist of now. what i can blog about.

1. Try to bring back cool phrases like "no doi" (Ashlie, I know you are reading this and checking your facebook. You get the credit for making no doi cool again). I'm not really sure what other cool phrases there are. One I remember that someone said in Eagle, ID was "sick nast" but I don't think that ever caught on and was labeled a fad. Sorry Mallory :)
2. The worst security question for a promiscuous girl - What is the name of your lover? ... DONT ASK cause i really dont know where that came from.
3. How about this for a new blog name "brain of dreams" is that pretty deep?
4. I'm going to start using different blogging personas - one is ghetto girl and/or hoodie rat. Ok maybe I'll only take on one persona. She needs a name. I'll be thinking of that today.

c.b. and thesaurus the dinosaur

im watching the "with you" chris brown video (p.s. this picture, almost adorable until you look closely at the little kid who kind of looks robotic/mannequin-ish. creeeeeeeepy). anyways they pulled the video off youtube so i found it on a blog. soooooo should have done that the first time. believe in the blog! bad idea finding this one though, there are so many good song recommendations and its bringing out my itunes addiction again. bad bad. but chris brown = classic. i waited for 20 minutes for this stupid thing to load cause my internet connection sucked. worth every minute. im going to keep this window open as long as possible. ohhhhhhhhh yeah. look up "beauty" in the thesaurus and it pulls up chris brown. no joke. p.s. i thought that the thesaurus was a dinosaur up until about the fifth grade.

shout out

this is my shout out to the non-brown kids who sport the leis and other assorted poly necklaces and aloha print seat covers in their rides. BAH HA HA. sick.

mid-life wife

OH! and while i was getting ready to hibernate my computer, i figured out what the provo moms who dress like their daughters, get really bad highlights and have orange skin are called. the mid-life wife. you know, the ones who got married early, had kids way earlier then expected and never really had a chance to live out their 20's and now live vicariously through their ill-fashioned children. yes, those. i know you seen them before. they are all cutesy at the mall, walk around with all of their shopping bags, stop in at nordstrom to gather around the mac counters. which, by the way, i would NOT trust those mac girls to put makeup on my face. have you seen their face paint jobs before!? disastrous. i think they need to fire whoever has been recruiting and hiring those people. bad bad.

this is my attempt at being deep

i decided that people who try to be really deep (via status's on facebook, notes on facebook, the way they name their album) are really bad at it. so instead of attempting to be deep and risk looking like a fool, i'm just going to be shallow. all the time. on my blog. did you get how i was trying to be deep with my use of punctuation? i hate when people do that too.

my rules for blogging and the sister elves

Rule #1: Don't gossip about people who might read your blog on the blog.

Rule #2: Don't write anything that will keep you from getting a job.

So basically, if my blog starts describing my skills and qualifications, you'll know why. Graduation is right around the corner...FINALLY. I won't have to walk in this heinous snow on campus in my Uggs. Which, Ashlie and I decided, Wal-Mart should make the knock-offs and call them Fuggs. I'd totally buy them. Actually I did buy some, from Target, but I don't know what to call those.

OH! And I finally created my elf...elves. Look! We are the Sister Elves!!!